Living with uncertainty is difficult enough. Turning that experience into an album that feels hopeful without ignoring the darkness is something else entirely.
That’s exactly what Hannah Judge accomplishes on Living While Dying, the second album from her indie rock project, fanclubwallet. Released in late 2025, the record transforms isolation, chronic illness, and anxiety into a collection of warm, melodic songs that never lose sight of the joy that can exist alongside hardship.
Judge began writing the album while navigating Crohn’s disease, a period marked by illness, surgery, and long stretches of uncertainty. Rather than focusing solely on those struggles, Living While Dying traces the emotional arc between despair, recovery, and the realization that neither state lasts forever.
That balance gives the record its identity. Songs like “Guts” confront vulnerability head-on, while “New Distraction” channels restless anxiety into one of the album’s brightest moments. Built around jangly guitars and an irresistible hook, the track perfectly captures Judge’s gift for pairing heavy emotions with surprisingly buoyant melodies.
Throughout the album, recurring images of ghosts, haunted houses, and liminal spaces become metaphors for the body, memory, and the strange feeling of existing somewhere between wellness and illness. Even at its most introspective, though, the music remains inviting, blending indie rock, power pop, and bedroom-pop charm into something remarkably accessible.
What impressed me most about Living While Dying is its refusal to settle into despair. Judge never pretends everything is fine, but she also resists defining herself through suffering. Humor, curiosity, and optimism continue to surface, even during the album’s darkest moments.
Nearly a year after its release, Living While Dying still resonates because it understands that healing isn’t a destination. It’s something we keep working toward, one day at a time.
For an album born from uncertainty, it leaves behind an unexpected feeling: gratitude for simply being here.
Header photography by Cole Yearwood.
